Male Thinking and Language

Men and boys think quite differently than women and girls. Why? Currently, research is evolving on the brain differences. We will likely learn a lot more about this topic as research into these area progresses.

Are females less able in science and math? This old belief has been shattered by university enrolment where we see that women are entering the maths and sciences in large numbers. We see the skills that many women demonstrate in math and science meets or exceeds those of male students.

If men have different brains from women, then what can we make of this?

Male Thinking

My belief is that boys show differences in thinking from girls around ages five or six. Boys play games where goals are set, hierarchies form (just who will be the boss of the group) and they are competitive, even rough. Their language is about this.

Although boys know language before the age of five, at this age the words are about what the boys and peers are playing at. “Kill him”, for example is unusual in girls groups at that age, whereas it is not so uncommon in boys groups. Typical thinking and language patterns of younger boys could include statements such as, “He is the boss and I will do whatever he says as I do not want to be roughed up. He is bigger.”

Boys talk little about how they feel about each other, such as how skilled another boy is. They have a small range of feelings about each other. Warm feelings are difficult for them to feel inside much less to say to another boy.

In adolescence, boys are anxious about their bodies and the results of hormone changes, and it is not easy for a male in this stage of development to admit to anxiety over these things. Jokes conceal their fears.

Adolescents are in an exit pattern from their parents and parental control which may lead to the adolescent rebellion that we hear about. An adolescent psychiatrist told me that the stronger the rebellion, the better the adjustment in adult life. He also said that in the North American male, adolescence goes on well into the twenties.

This may reassure some parents.

But boys do grow and become adults. I hear some women say: “of a kind”. What kind of language do men use? They sometimes use the patterns and the words of the five year old – to the chagrin of many women.

Male Language

One woman listened in as her boyfriend left his cell phone on. What did the guys talk about? Cars. She could not believe it! What is so interesting about cars that her boyfriend talked about them all the time? She was confused simply because she had never taken the time to learn about understanding men.

I will talk more about the male language in my CDs but my emphasis is that women can learn to understand men and accept this, hopefully not disparaging the male at the same time. Call it becoming bilingual if you wish.

Order our Seminars for download or get the 4-CD package. You are investing in your life, in your future. Learn about understanding men so that you know how he thinks and what he really means when he talks to you.