What is the narcissist like?

I want to give a brief summary of what a narcisstic man is like so that a woman can make comparisons with other men who may not be narcissistic.

The narcissistic male is self-centered to a major degree. Full of apparent confidence - that we all wish we had. The world revolves around him. He is often boastful and/or charismatic.

At first, women like to be around him as they hope to take in that marvellous feeling that he seems to possess.

Underneath, the narcissist is fragile and criticism may elicit an intense rage (which mental health professionals call “narcissistic rage”). He will be a friend unless you slight him. He requires constant adoration from those around him but underneath he is unlike the picture he gives.

We can sometimes see a narcissistic male on the way that he dresses. Expensively.

He is proud of his achievements and will work to get these. A success in turn makes him feel terrific.

He may gather a flock of people around him. I think that it is unconsciously a feeding model, where the onlookers wish to take in the apparent self-confidence for themselves.

Narcissistic Personality

Over time, many find a narcissistic personality tiresome. While we all have some narcissism, I am talking of those who have the qualities to an intense degree. I will not name politicians who I believe may have a narcissistic personality, but you may be able to think of some yourself. They appear in TV clips well-dressed and well-groomed with what they think is important to say. Many can be found in organizations, and the pathways are open to the narcissistic male who achieves high goals. Achievement is most gratifying to him.

How does a boy become destined to become a narcissist? Put simply a baby has to have a caregiver who looks after him, beaming at his smiles, reciprocating his charms with endearment by word and deed. It is called “mirroring”. If flawed, the deprived infant turns inward to gratify himself with emotional nurturing as he grows. Later in life he finds things that will gratify him including success with women.

Many who have a high level of narcissism are diagnosed with having a disorder. All narcissists are afraid of their ego or self disintegrating. Underneath the apparent self-confidence is unconscious self-doubt.

There is another type: the highly indulged child who is given everything and has the belief that he is special, more special than anyone else, by his parents or caregivers. I mean lots and lots of indulgence. He grows up with a sense of entitlement.

This is a very short explanation. It is important to see how such men can draw a crowd around them and are charismatic leaders, which in turn feeds their narcissism.

In Love with a Narcissistic Man

Many women link up with and marry such narcissistic men.

I want to point out that the narcissistic male may genuinely believe that he is in love as the feeling inside feeds into his self-admiration. Put simply, the narcissist is in love with the idea and feeling that goes with his idea of being in love. He would be furious if a woman who was dating or living with him doubted his love for her. Meanwhile, much of the love he has, he has for himself, not her.

As success in life is so important to the narcissistic man, we see them in many walks of life such as in politics, the professions and so on. We do admire charismatic leaders do we not? We vote for them and seek their professional advice. It is plainly evident that women adore them.

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